Doc Fury
Furious Enterprises
7541
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Posted - 2014.12.13 20:41:57 -
[2] - Quote
Eurydia Vespasian wrote:Doc Fury wrote:No version for the ladies.. yet. because we're smart enough to not fry bacon naked.
Apparently not all of you..
CBS (Cool Bacon Story)
Many years ago I had a tryst with a "dancer" for a couple months. She was not too bright and was crazy as a outhouse rat, but it was the closest thing to having a Ferengi wife as I have encountered because she didn't like to wear clothes at home. I made a joke once about her bringing her work home with her, but she didn't really get it.
Anyhoo.. one Saturday morning she decides to cook me breakfast after downing a couple glasses of wine. Things were going pretty good I guess until she dropped-in the second batch of bacon and the pan (and grease) was smokin' hot. She got splashed really good, screamed and dumped the remaining wine from her glass on herself to cool things down. By the time I got to the kitchen (half asleep) it looked to me like she was covered in blood and she was staring at me sobbing with a look of sheer terror. I grabbed a towel, and rushed to assist, but slipped on the grease & wine combo that was on the floor, and as a result that sent both of us crashing into the cabinets and then the floor. As we laid there for a moment I realized it was wine and not blood, and she had some new big pink and red marks like giant freckles going from just below her neck all the way down the front of her.
When I asked what the hell happened and if she was O.K. all she could say over and over while sobbing was: "all I wanted was to make you breakfast". I got both of us into the shower to clean up a bit and then she finally was able to explain what happened. She could not go to work for a week afterwards and that eventually caused her to start waiting tables instead as she had big permanent red "freckles" that all together looked something like a bat with a long tail trying to jump out from between her breasts.
She always wore clothes at home for the remainder of our relationship after that and always avoided the stove area of the kitchen. After she left, I invested in a big stainless spatter guard, and my first kitchen apron that simply read: "Hot!" in red letters.
Gÿ+
The accumulated filth of all their sex and murder will foam up about their waists and all the ho's and politicians will look up and shout 'Save us!' and I'll look down, and whisper 'Hodor'.
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